Sicko searchies

It has been a while since I checked my stats for this blog so I checked them tonight.  I wanted to see what some of the keywords were for getting people to my site.  I think I'm sorry I checked.  The number one keyword driving people to Ireland Ever After is Vajazzle Kits, followed by Vajazzle.  Trailing behind Vajazzle is Decorative Towels followed by Erections on Beach.  Next, we have just plain 'ol Erections followed by Customs Forms.  So, what I've gathered is that there are some sick pups out there and I kind of have to laugh at them when they enter these search words and land on my silly little site.  I'm sure it is deffo not what they were looking for!!

Anyway, I've been MIA from my blog for a while because I have been expanding my knowledge and have perfected another language...Dutch. Well, actually, Barry and I downloaded a film for free the other night and the only copy we could get had Dutch subtitles, so we have surmised that we are now both fluent in Dutch.  Be jealous.

Actually, I have given in and started reading the Fifty Shades trilogy.  Yes, I did.  I've finished the first book.  I was entertained, however I was a little bored with the same word usage.  Yes, I suppose it's hard to find ways to describe sexual situations without using the same words but still.  And, in case you haven't read it, I'll give you the best line in the book now: "I want to claim your ass, Anastasia."  I'm still laughing out loud at that...who talks like that?????  Anyway, I'm intrigued so I will continue on with the trilogy.

I was actually a bit embarrassed for the author, too.  Not because of the writing, but because I couldn't imagine the weird family dinners she had to endure when her mother and family read the book and pictured her with all these kinky sex scenes just winding around the creases of her mind.  I could barely bring myself to write any romance scenes in my book for this very reason!

So, I will leave you now and fall back into Christian Grey's spell.

3 weeks in America

Three weeks in America have come and gone and we're now back in Derry swapping the 100 degree weather for well...not 100 degree weather.  Although, it appears as if we left the States at just the right time considering nearly everyone at home is without power and will be for possibly the  next five days after a massive storm on Friday.  Anyone fancy 100 degree weather five days with no air conditioning?

We were actually supposed to be filming an episode of House Hunters International while we were in America.  The show contacted us in February after we moved to our new house and we initially agreed to filming the show, but once we learned what was involved in the filming, we were certain we couldn't do it and have the proper amount of time to spend with friends and family, so we had to refuse the show, unfortunately.

Anyway, it was a very enjoyable three weeks where we barely had time to remember to breathe. Isla had to meet all her friends and family in West Virginia and since she can't drive yet, Barry and I had to take her.  It made me wonder if she realized that everyone in West Virginia sounded like her mommy and everyone in Derry sounds like her daddy?

We arrived in Charleston wearing matching Ireland shirts.  Why? I dunno.  I guess we thought it would be funny but I think we looked ridiculous?

Barry and Isla in their shirts.  I'm taking the pic so you can't see me:)

My car.  I miss my lil red car.  212,000 miles and still purrs like a kitten.

My mom's house.

We kicked off our visit with a cookout on my mom's deck when we landed and a sleuth of visitors waiting to see little Zumba baby in the flesh.  Yes, the have seen her on Facebook since I have a strong need to incessantly post photos of my lil bugger, but in the flesh is always better.

Salmon on the grill.

Isla with her Papaw.

Isla with her Uncle.

Isla with her Nana.

Isla with her Great-grandmother.

Barry got to see fireflies for the first time that night or as we call them at home...plain 'ol lightning bugs.  Isla was greeted with more swings, toys, rockers and walkers than an orphanage would have but, I think she got to use nearly all of them.  No, my mom has the task of returning all the baby stuff to their original owners.

Sooooo, what else did we do?

Barry went to Pittsburgh with my brother to help him move furniture from his condo and he got to enjoy the culinary masterpiece that is Primanti Bros (famous for massive sandwiches filled with lotsa stuff and topped of with a load of french fries), while I attended the bachelorette party of my friend.

We visited the flesh-eating disease that is rotting America:

Walmart...it hurts so good.

We took a drive up to Hawk's Nest, W.V. and around the area:

New River Gorge Bridge, W.V.

View from Hawk's Nest, W.V.

W.V. waterfall on the way to Hawk's Nest.

We paid a visit to my mom's office, where we were confronted by her new office wallpaper:

I wonder if she has any pictures of Isla?

In case you're wondering...yes, I did have some Taco Bell...but, only four times!

Mexican pizza at Taco Bell.

We spent some time at Glade Springs Resort where my friend got married and where I was told I had  a great Irish accent after giving my Matron of Honor speech.  The poor woman thought I was from Ireland...I don't know if she just assumed it because I said I was living here or if she truly thought I had an Irish accent.  In case of the latter, I need to be bumpin' up my West Virginia accent a bit more.  I wonder if they make a Rosetta Stone for that?

Me at the wedding.

Barry with his fan club at the wedding.  They just loved his accent.

After the wedding,  we headed to Myrtle Beach, S.C for some R&R on the coast.  The water wa a balmy 87 and the temperature was about 96...super love it.

View from the North Myrtle Beach condo we stayed in.

Barefoot Landing, North Myrtle Beach, S.C.

Barry managed to eat like he was on death row the whole three weeks.  I tried my best to not do that since I gain weight everywhere including my ear lobes when I eat like that.

Barry eating donuts at Krispy Kreme.

Barry eating frozen yogurt at Tropical Moon.

Barry having a late night McDonald's milkshake.

Barry's chili cheese fries and side of...er, um...regular fries at Wendy's.

And, while Barry was eating all this, Isla ate...well, her foot.

Isla got enough clothes to last her a lifetime...it's unfortunate that she will outgrow them so fast!

Our suitcases on the way back.  Most of these were full of new clothes for Isla.  We even had to ship a box over!

Before we left, we made a stop at Kroger where we were surprised to see this section.  All the stuff you would find in a Derry grocery store.  This was a new section at Kroger in the international section.  For a minute, I thought I was in Tesco.

Isla didn't scream on the airplane on the way over...but, on the way back she did.  It amused me the woman behind me suggested that I try a pacifier because here ears were popping.  Really?  As if I didn't know that.  Thank you Mrs. State-The-Obvious.  We tried it, she kept spitting it out.

Isla on the plane.  Fear of flying? Or, maybe shock over the lady's suggestion of a pacifier?

We returned home and awaited my birthday (well, maybe it was just me that awaited it since I was super excited about the gift Barry was giving me).  For my birthday, I wanted ten hours in the house all to myself...just me and the cats, so I could catch up on TV and watch girly movies without being disturbed.  I know it does sound a little selfish, but it was my birthday!

And, that's where I'll leave you.  Back in Derry, but we're keeping the W.V. represented here.

Our new WV sticker on our Derry window.

A drink of bath water

Nearly two weeks into our America trip and it's been a whirlwind!  Isla has met nearly all of her American friends and family and has traveled more than any four month old baby I know...except for Brangelina's children.  We've seen my best friend get married where Barry was a hit the whole wedding weekend.  Everyone liked his Irish accent...in fact, one guy liked it so much he insisted on drinking whatever Barry was drinking "even if it was bath water."  Well, thankfully Barry wasn't drinking bath water, because if he was, that would likely be the last time he'd kiss me with his bath water breath.  But anyway, his Irish accent was liked so much, nearly everyone wanted to hear him talk all night.  I suppose it is a lovely accent...it's unfortunate that I no longer hear his accent. He just sounds like Barry to me.  The same goes for him...he no longer hears my American accent...he just hears the nagging wife, a.k.a. Lesley :). 

At the rehearsal dinner.

Speaking of Barry's wee brogue, the majority of the wedding weekend Barry wasn't having the best of luck communicating.  Most people actually didn't understand him.  It was so bad in fact, he...had...to...talk...like...this.  Super duper slow...and even then people still had trouble.  That was until they started drinking!  After the drinks were flowing (not bath water), Barry came to the realization that drunk West Virginians and sober Irish people were actually on the same level as to where they could communicate.  Barry no longer had to speak like a spastic and everyone was able to understand him perfectly.  Who says alcohol doesn't fix problems? 

So, after my friend was united in Holy Matrimony (she ignored my advice to run screaming in the opposite direction),and shot off on her honeymoon, we drove down to Myrtle Beach, S.C. which is where we are now enjoying the sun and heat because we know once were back in Ireland, the heat and sun will go bye bye.

Barry's Irish-ness is also on full display here as well (and I'm not talking about his penchant for wearing a green t-shirt that says Ireland which he wore today).  I'm referring once again to his accent.  At dinner last night:
Waitress:  What would you like to drink?
Barry: Coke
Waitress: We have Pepsi products not Coke.
Barry: Ok, Pepsi then.
Waitress: What?  We don't have Pepsi.
Barry: Looking at me, confused.  Okay, Water.
Waitress: Coke?
Barry: What?
Waitress: Coke, then.

Barry outside P.F. Chang's in his Ireland shirt.

Now, I don't think it was Barry's accent in this case but perhaps the waitress' lack of brains here. In fact, it must be a server training course (lack of brains 101) all the servers at Myrtle Beach go through because tonight at dinner, we had another weird incident.

Waiter: Are you from Ireland? Looking at Barry's t-shirt.
Barry: Aye.
Waiter: My dad was Irish.
Barry: Here we go, he thought.  Everyone here always says their daddy, great-grandaddy etc. was Irish. Right, okay.
Waiter: My mother is Italian.  From Sicily.
Barry: Right, okay.  Well, that's not right, he thought...she's Sicilian not Italian that's different. And, where is your dad from exactly?
Waiter: New Foundland.
Barry: What? I thought he was Irish.Isn't that up in Canada somewhere?
Waiter:  Yeah, but he considered himself Irish.

Um, okay then weird Myrtle Beach servers.

Olympic torch in Derry

The Olympic torch made it's way through Derry yesterday on it's way to London.  We had front row seats:

Barry looks so excited as we wait for the torch to pass.

The torch relay is sponsored by Samsung.  The ones in the blue here worked for Samsung.  They tried to get the crowd pumped up, but seemed to be more into themselves at the time.

The torch arriving into the Diamond.

The torch on the other side of the Diamond.

The Samsung party bus.

Up close of the Samsung party bus.

The back of the Samsung party bus.  I wonder how much they spent to be the official torch relay sponsors?

Coca-cola bus.

And there was the woman carrying the torch...in white there.

Record breaker

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to participate in a world record breaker attempt for the largest outdoor exercise circuit class.  The Guinness book of world record holders were located in Maryland, so I was breaking a record from my home country, but it was fun to take part in.  And, if you were wondering, yes we broke the record with 463 participants.  Here are some pics:

Me doing a Zumba demo before the record attempt at the health fair:

 The paper:

Worst flight ever?

Two weeks away from what will only be known as the WORST FLIGHT IN ALL OF HISTORY!  Yes, in two weeks, we will officially take Isla to America to meet all her family and friends there.  (If anyone from Zumba reads this, fear not!  The evening Zumba classes will be not be cancelled!  I have someone to fill in for me in the evening, so classes will go on as normal.  The morning classes, however, will be cancelled for three weeks while I'm away, since I have no one to cover those for me...stay tuned in class for more info :)

Now, I'm definitely looking forward to getting home, but I'm not looking forward to the long trans-Atlantic flight with our nearly four month old baby.  Especially given that she's a teeny bit temperamental (she gets that from her daddy.)  And, it's two weeks away until Barry and I officially become "that couple."  The couple who bring a screaming baby on a plane.  We always hated that couple.  But, it's gotta be done.  She could surprise us and be a perfect angel, but I doubt it.  But, here's hoping anyway.  My brother had an interesting idea.  He said, before the flight takes off, we should grab the speaker and just apologize in advance to all the passengers for what we can only describe as the worst flight they will ever take, since they will likely have to endure poor Isla's wails throughout the journey.  I'll hold up this picture, so they can familiarize themselves with what lie ahead:

We've got a busy trip ahead of us, and we're really looking forward to the food that will fuel our busy days.  Yes, if you have read my blog, then you know I'm a Taco Bell fanatic and I want to eat it all day every day (but I won't because Barry doesn't like it, which is just a sin and should be punishable by law IMO).

Anyway, not too much going on here in Derry.  It's been a while since I posted on my blog, so I wanted to just post and ramble a bit and I'm hoping if I talk about Taco Bell enough, maybe I'll get a free taco or something from all the free advertising they're getting from me.  Taco Bell Taco Bell Taco Bell Taco Bell...you want to give me free tacos...and maybe a burrito...yes you do...

So, we are in a super awesome heatwave here in Derry with temps getting up into the 70s the past few days.  In fact, I actually have a bit of sunburn from being at the beach today, which I never thought would happen...a sunburn in Ireland.  I draw that conclusion based on the fact that since I moved here 15 months ago, I've lived like a duck.  So, the fact that I got a sunburn today was superfly.

Okay, well with nothing else going on here, I'm off to bed.  I'm helping Derry break a world record with the largest circuit class tomorrow.  We need nearly 400 people to break the record, so wish us luck!

Elevator snatchers

I suppose it's now that I have a baby that I notice these things, but since I have noticed these things, I can't stop myself from bitching about them now.  Let's talk about it--inconsiderate assholes.  Now, there are soooooo many types of inconsiderate assholes out there, but I'm referring to one in particular right now.  And, that particular type of asshole is one who cares or pays absolutely no attention to a pram. I'm going to create a special name for them...now, I'm not going to be really creative about this special name, because honestly, I have a baby and I'm tired.  My creativity is flip-flopping everywhere.  So, they are called inconsiderate about prams assholes (I told you it wouldn't be great). I'm going to do this Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a redneck style.

 You might be an inconsiderate about prams asshole if:

• You speed up when you see a pram crossing the street.  This has happened several times.  Sometimes we aren't using the Zebra crossings, and I can perhaps slightly understand a motorist's annoyance at that, but the times when we ARE using Zebra crossings and people nearly clip the tires of the pram because God forbid they slow down, well that just makes you a prick. 
• You have two normal, working legs and yet you still insist upon taking the elevator in the shopping centre instead of the escalator.  It's an escalator...you don't have to move...it moves YOU and it is LITERALLY TWO FEET AWAY from the elevator!  Catch yourself on and let the person with the pram have your space on the elevator. You can't take prams on escalators...duh!
• You happen to take the elevator (even though you have two wonderfully working legs) and the elevator stops half way between where you started and your final destination and you see a woman with a pram trying to get in the elevator because there IS room and you push the door close button while the woman is getting in the elevator and the doors shut ON THE PRAM while you mutter that there is no room.  Well, you're not just a prick for that, you're going to burn in hell.  In case you can't tell, this just happened to us in Belfast this past Wednesday.

I admit, I didn't notice prams much before I had a baby, but I'm certain I didn't do any of the above because I used a bit of sense.  In fact, the only time I probably noticed another pram before having a baby is when I was nearly run over by them because the folks pushing the prams don't stop or even pretend to care if they run over your toes.  I'm happy to say that Barry and I have not turned into those types of pram pushers yet, but the next time you take our spot on an elevator even though you have no pram, wheelchair or other type of physical impairment, look out.  We may just run over you with our Graco Mosaic all-in-one.  

Happy Monday!