All wrong

Google Image Search Photo

Barry and I were out browsing yesterday at Dunelm Mill, a shop that sells household items, decorations, etc.  We meandered through the bathroom section and came upon a wall of bathroom scales.  Barry pulled a scale down, set it on the floor and climbed aboard.  Then I heard: "That can't be right.  Naw, that's wrong there, hi."  I looked down at the number he was locked in on--10.  He weighed 10 stone (there are 14 pounds in a stone for my American readers.  So he weighed 140 pounds).  Not much right?  At least in my opinion anyway.

Not pleased with his weight on scale number one, he pulled another scale from the wall and climbed on.  Then, I heard: "Something's wrong with these 2 scales here. Naw I've always weighed 8 stone."  I glance down and see the number 10 yet again before saying, "Well, they can't all be wrong."  After he went on to rationalize his two stone weight gain by saying the clothes he had on were heavy, big boots, etc. blah blah blah, I felt like smacking him. 

You see Barry has always had trouble gaining weight.  Until he quit smoking about a year and a half ago that is.  Of course, the half gallons of vanilla ice cream and half of a whole apple crumble in the evening for dessert doesn't help him much either as far as keeping his boyish figure.  I, on the other hand, have always had trouble keeping the weight off.  If I don't watch every morsel that passes through my lips and exercise til I'm blue in the face, I'll gain weight. 

Up until our recent trip to Dunelm Mill, I kept telling Barry his trousers were getting too small, but he didn't believe me all the time arguing that they weren't (even though he had red marks pressing in on his skin from his tight jeans and could barely breath).  I guess even men take weight gain hard.  Needless to say, next weekend we won't be browsing for household items again...nope, we'll be going trouser shopping for fat arse...er, I mean Barry. 

Fox is Irish

Bad news.  This is another post about my cats.  I know, I know.  I talk about them a lot, but I can't help it.  I'm one of the weirdos that really loves my cats.  I guess that is pretty obvious considering I did spend seven months preparing their paperwork, tests and travel arrangements to get them to Ireland with me.

Fox Jeffrey is my youngest cat.  He's a five year old yellow Tabby and let's just say he's a few fries short of a happy meal.  Always has been.  I attribute it to him being taken away by his mother at just four weeks old.  He sees imaginary fairies on the wall, it took me nearly a year to train him to use the litter box.  I've never been able to teach him how to use his scratching post...after four years of that, I gave up and just counted my blessings that at least he used his litter box.  So, needless to say, I had cat scratched furniture back in America.  He's never been a snuggler. Yes, he's "special."  I compare him to David after dentist.

Charlie, on the other hand, is the complete opposite.  He's my ten year old Tabby. He listens, he was no problem when it came to litter box training, he uses the scratching post and he's always first in line to be petted and snuggled. 

Then, we move to Ireland.  I fully expected it to be traumatic for them, but it actually wasn't.  They've adjusted quite well.  Especially Fox.  Barry and I have come up with a theory:  Fox is actually Irish and he's back in his home land and therefore he's happy.  I'll prove it.  I bought them a scratching post and he walked over to it and USED IT!!!  I've tried for YEARS to get him to use it! And, he's not offered to scratch on any of our furniture here.  In addition, he's become super lovey...wanting petted all the time.  For instance, this very moment as I type this, he is cuddled up next to me PURRING!!!  I know this sounds ridiculous, but you have no idea what a night and day change he has made since coming to Ireland.  Of course, my friend offered a different theory instead of the whole he may be Irish thing, she said he probably had a stroke on the plane that caused him to change personalities.  I guess that could be another possibility.

Charlie, he's doing well, too.  He's still the same sweet kitty, but he's having a teensy weensy bit more of a difficult time adjusting.  I say he's my American cat.  He and I, the two Americans, are both having a little trouble adjusting, but we're coming around just fine.

The time machine gets it every time

Time machine. Google image search.

Barry and I were watching Dexter this evening.  This show has become our after dinner treat every night...we're on season four now so we're getting all caught up.  Anyway, there was a scene on today where Dexter was in traffic due to a sobriety checkpoint.  Instead of waiting in traffic, Dexter turned around.

Now, let's back up. Barry and I, just for some fun, have odd little discussions about which is better--Ireland or America.  Now, there's never a clear winner of course but it is something we have fun with.  It's all for fun...I'll repeat.  I like it here and would never say anything insulting and same goes for Barry.

So, after this scene where Dexter leaves the sobriety checkpoint.  Here is the conversation that follows between Barry and I:

Barry:  "Now if that were ti happen here, they'da [cops] wuda been after 'em, hi."
Me:  "Yep, they would chase them down in the States too for doing that."
Barry:  "Aye, but do they have dinosaurs in America?"
Me: (Confused) "Dinosaurs?"
Barry:  "Aye, 'cause yer always tryin' ti upstage me.  We have it here so America does, too."
Me:  (Rolling my eyes and laughing)  "Yes, we have dinosaurs in America to help chase the sobriety check point avoiders."
Barry: "So do we.  But, do ye have robots?"
Me:  "Yes, and we have time machines, too."
Barry: (long, silent pause) "Very good.  You win.  The time machine did it."

YES...I knew the time machine would help me win this one!

And....YES...these are the weird conversations we find ourselves having a little too often.

Go brother, it's your birthday

Wednesday, May 11th, is my younger same age as me brother's birthday.  So, here's to wishing the last year of his twenties is unforgettable.  Happy 29th Birthday, Joseph!

That's him on the right.  Those fellas are some big Mountaineers fans. Go WVU!

A typical Joseph expression.

Hmm...as you can see, he has the same expression in most photographs. 

By the way ladies...he's single!  He'd so kill me if he knew I did that, but he doesn't read my blog so no worries lol!

Happy Mother's Day

Since tomorrow is Mother's Day back in the States, I'd thought I'd take this opportunity to honor my mother here on my blog with a few photos.  This is also the first Mother's Day that we've not been together. 

Happy Ma's Day, Ma!  Love ya!

My bro, mom and me last Thanksgiving.

Here she is right before my wedding all glammed up with freshly done makeup.

Right before wedding again just waiting for the ceremony to start.

And, Mother's Day is for grandma's too. Here's my grandma although we call her Mamaw not Grandma.

Me and Mamaw at my bridal shower last July.

That's what he said: The shopkeeper interview

Alrighty...it has been a while since I mentioned interviewing my shopkeeper husband for my blog AND it is finally here...the interview with the shopkeeper.  Barry agreed to go on video for the interview IF and ONLY IF he approved of the final video, which was fair.  So, with a dozen attempts and takes under our belts, he still wasn't happy with the video so according to our agreement, I can't post it.  I know, I know.  BOOOO HISSSSSS! 

What I will do instead, even though I know it is not as good, is post the questions posed by you guys and some I added myself, and then write in his answers.  Not as good I know, but oh well.  Enjoy anyway!!!

Meet Barry.  My husband and the shopkeeper being interviewed.  He's lookin' all spiffy in this photo.  This was taken on our honeymoon on an Alaskan cruise.

Question:  Is he adverse to being called a "huckster"? Or having a "huckster's shop"?
Barry's answer:  "I don't know what that is." (We then Google it and find out it means someone who sells shoddy or crappy products).  Once we know what it is, Barry's answer is: "Oh right, okay.  Aye I don't mind being called a huckster.  Everything here is crap." Smiley face.

Question: What does he think about the idea of Northern Ireland independence?
Barry's answer: "There is no such place as Northern Ireland."  Think that sums up his opinion pretty well there.

Question: What about Gaelic? Can he speak any? If so, say "You have a big tab. Pay now willingly or I'll make you pay."
Barry's answer: "Eh, I don't know much Gaelic or Irish.  Me da would."  He couldn't say the above requested statement but, I did get him to say kiss my ass which also happens to be the only thing I know too.  Póg mo Thóin (pronounced poge ma hone) means kiss me arse in Irish.  At this point I kept saying this statement over and over.  Giggle.

Question: What does he think of Travelers? Does he know any and has he ever gone to a wedding?
Barry's answer: "The vast majority of Travelers, I have ti say, are a bunch of thieving bastards and they give good Travelers, of which there are few, a bad name.  And, I wouldn't leave 'em in an empty room otherwise they might steal something and ye couldn't watch 'em with a bag of eyeballs. No, thank fuck, I don't know any and no I've not been ti a wedding as it generally involves some type of shotgun usage."

Traveler wedding photo.  They get all glammed up for weddings.

Question: Opinion on the Catholic Church?
Barry's answer: "I have nothing against religion but I have no time for organized religion." Of course the jokes involving Catholic priests and their penchant for wee boys fly like crazy over here as they do everywhere haha.

Question: Is everyone in Ireland like the book Angela's Ashes?
Barry's answer:  "Oh, I don't know.  I've never read it."  I'm ashamed to say...I haven't either.

Question: What's your favorite candy bar?
Barry's answer:  "I have ti say, it is the Kinder Bueno."  I went to reach for one in the shop and he was out of them too...for shame!!!  They are pretty tasty.

Question: Best selling item in the shop?
Barry's answer:  "Fags."  And, cigarettes, too, I add. Bahhaha.  That's just my stupid little joke there.

Question: Is the recession affecting the shop?
Barry's answer:  "Aye.  That's why we can stand in here and film this interview.  We don't have any customers bothering us. And if ye want to make a contribution to the shop fund Lesley has all the bank details haha."

Question: Do you love the shop?
Barry's answer:  "I don't love it but I enjoy the craic.  It's always very....interesting."And there ya have it!

On another note, my blog has a new look now thanks to the lovelies over at For the Love of Blogs!

Television in bed

One of the most difficult things to get used to with being married is not having a television (with cable) in the bedroom.  In my single days, that is where I watched television.  Honestly, it is the best place to watch tv because it's super comfy.  Anyway, the tv in the bedroom issue is quicky becoming our top marital archnemesis.  Barry doesn't like the noise of it...says he can't sleep.  I, however, cannot fall asleep WITHOUT the television.  After fifteen plus years of watching tv in bed, I find it incredibly difficult to go to sleep without the lull of some type of sitcom playing in the background.  My personal favorite is The Golden Girls.  Oh Blanche and her shenanigans...or Rose and her stupid stories.  I would kill to hear a Rose Nyland story right now!  Thank you for always being a friend Rose...Blanche...Dorothy...Sophia.   Where are my friends now?

Google Image Search

So, because I can't watch tv to lull me to sleep here, I'm pretty much awake all night long.  I've tried several nights of watching tv on the sofa (which just happens to be the most uncomfortable sofa in the entire universe), but it is not the same as in bed and it definitely doesn't have the same ability to ease me into a peaceful slumber as bedroom tv does.  Speaking of tv in bed, wouldn't this be the most awesome thing ever?  A tv that comes out of your bed?  I'm in love.

Google Image Search

It is no different tonight for the most part.  Right now, it is 3:30am and I'm wide awake while Barry and my two cats are sleeping in the bed in the deafening silence that is a bedroom without a tv.  The rat bastards.  I am on the world's worst sofa blogging and doing a little online shopping at Argos but what makes tonight slightly different is that our tv in the living room IS NOT WORKING!!!!  HELP ME!!!!  It was working when I tried to go to bed earlier but now it isn't!  PLEASE TV DON'T BE BROKEN!  You are the only noisemaker, aside from my computer, in the house!  *takes deep breath*  Okay, I need to pull myself together. 

So, I guess, I shall try this sleep thing again because I miss you sleep and because there's nothing left to do except clip my cats' claws and I'd hate to go wake them up to do that.  Side note: I found this photo here doing a Google image search and this woman looks so peaceful.  I hate her.  She is sleeping.  I am jealous.  What you can't see in this photo, I'm sure of, is a tv playing softly in the background.

Google Image Search

I need some new get to sleep tricks too, so if you have any please share because at this point I'm ready to go find a bottle of Nyquil for some forced sleep.  I've already tried counting sheep and I think I've already counted all the sheep in Ireland, which is a lot.  I've tried tracing the word SLEEP over and over in my mind because I was told that works too...it doesn't.  This is the end of this sleep deprived bloggers post for now.

SLEEP FIND ME!