Thursday, December 2, 2010

Preparing for my ever after

So, I’ve met my soul mate, had the fairy tale wedding and am now preparing to live happily ever after.  I sometimes, momentarily, wish it was like everyone else’s happily ever after…you know…you meet someone, fall in love, date for a while, get married and then go straight in to your newlywed life.  Um, yeah.  That’s definitely not anything like mine.  Although Barry and I have gotten married, we certainly are not typical newlyweds since we are currently living, at the moment, on separate continents.  He’s in Ireland and I’m in the United States.  Of course, we’ve never had the typical relationship.  He’s always been in Ireland and I’ve always been in the U.S.  We’ve never had an actual dating life together as most couples do. Sure, when we would visit each other’s respective countries, we would go out to dinner or movies, but those evenings were few and far between.  Thank goodness for commercial airlines and Skype, otherwise, we wouldn’t have made it. 

So, now it’s time.  We’ve been married for nearly three months and it’s definitely time we actually get to live together like a married couple.  But, here’s the kicker.  In order to do this, one of us has to move…to a different country.  And, that someone is me.  For me to move makes sense for us for a lot of different reasons, which I won’t get in to here.  But, yes, I’m headed to Ireland, so top ‘o the morning to ye!
What a simple thing that is for me to say:  “I’m headed to Ireland.” It rolls off the tongue so easily.  However, there is nothing easy at all about moving since this isn’t just a move down the street; it involves a whole mix of planning, emotions and…boxes.  I have to figure out what to do with my car, my belongings, and my cats (both of which will be coming with me after a mountain of paperwork and vet visits are complete).  Can I teach my Zumba classes once I get there? Will I adjust okay to a new country? Will I make new friends? Oh, no…will I be able to drive on the opposite side of the street? (This actually just hit me). Well, the list of concerns and questions in relation to this move goes on and on.  But, I’ll stop them here as I feel an anxiety attack coming on at the very thought of it.  I’m reaching for a paper bag to breathe in.

Planning for the move is not a problem. In fact, I’m probably the planning queen of the world.  Yes, keeping everything organized in nice neat little folders is no problem. It’s these damned emotions that make it hard.  These emotions won’t go into little folders and they certainly won’t arrange themselves neatly! The emotions have probably been the most overwhelming part for me.  In fact, I’ve learned to live with (not happily) my panic and anxiety attacks I’ve developed over the past several weeks as it relates to move (as I once again reach for a paper bag to breathe in).  The guilt, the fear, the excitement, the unknown…well, at least these are some of the emotions I’ve been able to identify as I prepare for this life changing situation.  The other emotions are just in there swimming around all willy-nilly waiting for me to wrangle them in, which I hope I’m able to do. 

As I prepare for and finally make my move within the next few months and adjust to life in Ireland once I get there, I’ll post what’s going on, so you can join me on this journey as well, and perhaps, give me some advice when needed. 

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