Friday, March 23, 2012

Weak and Whatta Man

As traditional ways of soothing Isla continue to fail with her colic, I've now resorted to singing to her.  Sometimes she enjoys it, sometimes she does not.  However, I've found that my repertoire of children's songs is nearly non-existent.  I know just a few songs: The Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves Me.  I know a few other songs, but not the entire song like I know these three.  If I were to sing another song, I would know the chorus then the rest of the song would be more of me mumbling or humming to the beat and that's just sad.

Since I know so few children's songs, I resorted to singing Christmas songs.  It seems I know more Christmas songs word for word than I do children's songs, including Jingle Bells (the original and Batman smells versions), Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

It seems however that I tire of singing these songs so often and Isla gets tired of hearing them, so last night I decided to mix it up a bit and sang the two songs that I know EVERY word to.  You'll laugh when you hear them because they are probably songs that you've forgotten about and haven't heard for a very long time.  Song number one:  Weak by SWV.  I used to sing this song in  my backyard while swinging on the swing set.  I thought my voice was soooo killer then, too.  Here's the song:

And, the other song is Salt 'N Pepa's Whatta Man.  My rap on this is so dope y'all for reals.  Here it is:

Anyway, I think I've proved I need to learn more kiddie songs.

Isla is growing quite a bit now.  She's six weeks old and weighs 8lbs and 13oz now and she's finally starting to outgrow her newborn clothes.  We put one of my favorite outfits on her today and the bottoms were too short.  I made the comment to Barry:  "Isla's pants are too small...she has on highwaters today."
Barry: "What?"
Me: "She has on high-waters."
Barry: "What are high-waters?"
Me: "You her pants are too short on the bottom."
Barry: Confused look remains on his face.
Me: "Like capri pants almost."  Surely he will understand now, I think to myself.
Barry: "What are capris?"
Me:  Dear Jesus, I think to myself and wonder how to explain this further to a man who clearly knows no fashion terminology at all.  "You know, like the only come to to here."  I motion to my calf.
Barry: "Oh, okay. Like three quarter length."
Me: "Yeah."
Barry: "High-waters!!! And, you make fun of the way I talk!"

A classic example of high-waters:

Oh...I'm also raging (a Derry term I've picked up there) that I've encountered three women this week alone who have named their babies (born after Isla) Isla!  Whaaaaaat?  I heard of no one with that name except for the actress and now BOOM...everyone is using Isla!  Rage!

Okay, last but not least, I spotted this at the grocery store yesterday.  Yes, this is a real item and a real photo taken with my own tiny hand:

Yes, you're seeing it correctly.  It is Delicious Spotted Dick.  But, not only is it delicious spotted dick, it is Just the way you like it!  As you can clearly see in the photo.  What?!  You've got to be kidding!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patrick's Day from Ireland

My second St. Patrick's Day in Ireland isssss today!  And, Isla's first ever St. Patrick's Day is today, as well.  It's not as big of a deal for Barry since it's his 38th St. Patrick's Day in Ireland :).

I was told by Barry that it isn't a tradition here to pinch someone who isn't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day like it is in America, but I told him that I was going to do it anyway to anyone who wasn't wearing green because, it's just cool to do that.  And, can you believe it?  Of ALLLLL people to NOT wear green today, it was BARRY!  Sooo, he had to take his oil and receive a pinch, and so he did.

Kiss me I'm Irish?  Well,'re too cute not to!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Rest in peace Titan

Got the sad news today that my mom's dog, Titan, had to be put down.  It was very sudden news and no one in my family was expecting it as he only seemed sick the past few days.  Unfortunately, he had lung cancer and there was nothing they could do.  R.I.P. wee buddy, Titey.  You were a very good boy and sorry I wasn't there to take you for one last walk.

Titan enjoying the snow, Christmas 2010.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The newest colic cure

Barry and I were browsing through the pound shop the other day, and we stumbled upon these:

Yep, it was a Vajazzle kit.  I've heard of them, but I've never actually seen one in person.  And, imagine my surprise to find out they were only a pound!  Whatta bargain, eh?  So, if you'd like to look like a blingy hooker, now you can for just a pound!

If you don't know what vajazzling is, I'll just let a picture explain rather than words.  These Vajazzle kits allow you to do this to yourself (well, that's at least the goal.  I have a feeling, most don't end up looking this good.):

Anyway, moving on.  The pound shop has recently broadened its "naughty" section, which is evident in their new stock of Vajazzle.  However, it isn't just Vajazzle they've added, it is also king size condoms.  I didn't notice the king size condoms sitting next to the Vajazzle.  So, with that previous small statement, I'll lead you into the conversation that followed...

The pound shop's "naughty" section is actually right next to their baby supply section, which kind of makes much naughty equals baby.  So, after I spotted the Vajazzle and had a giggle, I moved on to the baby section.  Barry lingered a little longer in the "naughty" section.

We both move on from the baby section and the "naughty" section.  As we were walking to the next aisle Barry says, "King size condoms, did you see those?"  I really wasn't paying attention and just did a quick "uh huh."  "I didn't know they made those," Barry says.  Keep in mind, I hadn't noticed the king size condoms, nor did I hear him say the actual words "king size condoms" since I wasn't paying attention to mind had moved on to the next aisle and the stuff we had to buy. My half-assed response to him was: "Well, sometimes you need it I guess."  You see, what I actually thought he said in my lazy listening was, "Did you see the Infacol?" not the king size condoms.  Yes, I know they don't sound alike and I really don't know how that happened, plus the pound shop doesn't even carry Infacol.  It makes sense maybe since we were in the baby section, too.  In case you don't know, Infacol is medicine given to colicky babies, which we have recently tried for our colicky angel (it doesn't work), so the word Infacol must've just been in my mind anyway even though I never actually saw Infacol there.

My "sometimes you need it I guess" statement left Barry with a puzzled look on his face and he stopped walking.  So, I stopped walking as well.  "What?" he asks.  I repeated my statement.  "Yes, sometimes you need it," I say, wondering what was so confusing about that.  He continued looking at me as if I told him I was born on Mars.  He moves closer to me. "Whaa...well, when did you need them?" He whispers.

Now, I'm confused.  "Well, you know when we need them, when the baby is colicky." I say, a little surprised, considering we have two bottles of Infacol at home.  The confused look remains on his face.
"What?  I said king size condoms!" He says, laughing.

"Oh." I say before realizing we were clearly talking about two different pound shop items here.  So, in case you don't need the king size condoms when the baby is colicky.  Yeah...

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Charlie isn't a fan

"What is it?" Charlie asks before deciding he really doesn't care for this "thing" in his home which now takes up all his mommy's time.

"And...when is it leaving?" He asks as he turns to face me.  I'm just assuming that's what he says as he's a cat and can't really talk.
I feel sorry for him.  He was always the center of attention in our house.  Poor Charlie.