Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Bittersweet Symphony of a big move

I'm sitting at my desk tonight, which is something I rarely do.  Usually I'm lying in bed, watching television and since it happens to be Sunday night, I'd also usually be dreading the thought of going to work tomorrow.  I shouldn't dread work.  It's not a bad job, really.  Anyway, I'm not creating this post to talk about my job, especially since I won't have it for much longer.  Nope, and that's terrifying.  No job, no paycheck, no benefits.  *Shudder.*  But, that is my choice and will open up a whole new world for me--a new world in Ireland.  With a loving husband, but still yet for me, an unknown world.  Living there, I imagine will truly be different than visiting.  Anyway, I digress. 

Actually, I'm sitting at my desk writing out contact lists for my family so they may be able to know every way possible to contact me while I'm in Ireland (Skype address, Barry's phone, Barry's address, Barry's parent's address, etc.) and I'm listening to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve at the same time.  Killer song, by the way.  Never gets old. I can't help but relate what a Bittersweet Symphony this move is for me. 

Bitter--leaving my family, friends and all I've ever known. It's difficult to wrap my head around the fact that I won't be waking up every morning in an empty apartment (aside from my feline companions Charlie and Fox Jeffrey) to go to work at the Charleston Area Alliance where I've reported every day since November 2006 and where I've been allowed an amazing opportunity within the organization and honestly, the job has helped me develop my knowledge of a town I've spent my whole life in and also made me realize I'm capable of much more than I ever thought possible.  It's also difficult for me to imagine that I can't text my brother on a Friday morning and ask him if he wants to go to lunch at Sitar of India for some Chicken Tikka Masala.  Since his office is about three blocks from mine, it has been something that has been easy to do over the past year, since he's moved back home from Pittsburgh. Also, I've been spending Sunday afternoons and evenings at my mom's house ever since I moved out, when I was twenty years old, some ten years ago.  I think, most of all, that will be the most difficult--to know that she is not just a thirty minute drive away. Of course, it is always difficult when you make a change and I know that.  I've never been against change and I do go along with it, but it is certainly never easy.

Sweet--to be with my husband, take this huge risk and go on an adventure which will only make me a stronger person, I expect. I mean, the summer I spent in Madrid studying was certainly an adventure and helped me grow as a person.  I can only imagine how an indefinite move to Ireland will change me as well.  It's thrilling to me to finally be able to wake up next to Barry after two and a half years of waking up alone, Skyping each night and bi-monthly international visits.  It's also refreshing to know that my family, some of who have never been to Europe, will have the opportunity to visit me in Ireland because I would hate for them to go their whole lives and never see Europe.  It's an extraordinary continent full of history and beautiful architecture. 

Now, Barry has asked me to stop blogging about how much stress I'm under, so I have tried my best to not do so here even though I'm going through an amazing amount of stress.  However, I'm trying my best to stay focused on the positive of everything and I certainly should have a postive outlook on everything and mostly I do.  I mean, 2010 has been an amazing year.  I got married, had an amazing honeymoon, got my book published, became a licensed Zumba instructor and had a successful first book signing.  I expect 2011 to be just as extraordinary.

No comments:

Post a Comment