Sunday, March 11, 2012

The newest colic cure

Barry and I were browsing through the pound shop the other day, and we stumbled upon these:

Yep, it was a Vajazzle kit.  I've heard of them, but I've never actually seen one in person.  And, imagine my surprise to find out they were only a pound!  Whatta bargain, eh?  So, if you'd like to look like a blingy hooker, now you can for just a pound!

If you don't know what vajazzling is, I'll just let a picture explain rather than words.  These Vajazzle kits allow you to do this to yourself (well, that's at least the goal.  I have a feeling, most don't end up looking this good.):

Anyway, moving on.  The pound shop has recently broadened its "naughty" section, which is evident in their new stock of Vajazzle.  However, it isn't just Vajazzle they've added, it is also king size condoms.  I didn't notice the king size condoms sitting next to the Vajazzle.  So, with that previous small statement, I'll lead you into the conversation that followed...

The pound shop's "naughty" section is actually right next to their baby supply section, which kind of makes much naughty equals baby.  So, after I spotted the Vajazzle and had a giggle, I moved on to the baby section.  Barry lingered a little longer in the "naughty" section.

We both move on from the baby section and the "naughty" section.  As we were walking to the next aisle Barry says, "King size condoms, did you see those?"  I really wasn't paying attention and just did a quick "uh huh."  "I didn't know they made those," Barry says.  Keep in mind, I hadn't noticed the king size condoms, nor did I hear him say the actual words "king size condoms" since I wasn't paying attention to mind had moved on to the next aisle and the stuff we had to buy. My half-assed response to him was: "Well, sometimes you need it I guess."  You see, what I actually thought he said in my lazy listening was, "Did you see the Infacol?" not the king size condoms.  Yes, I know they don't sound alike and I really don't know how that happened, plus the pound shop doesn't even carry Infacol.  It makes sense maybe since we were in the baby section, too.  In case you don't know, Infacol is medicine given to colicky babies, which we have recently tried for our colicky angel (it doesn't work), so the word Infacol must've just been in my mind anyway even though I never actually saw Infacol there.

My "sometimes you need it I guess" statement left Barry with a puzzled look on his face and he stopped walking.  So, I stopped walking as well.  "What?" he asks.  I repeated my statement.  "Yes, sometimes you need it," I say, wondering what was so confusing about that.  He continued looking at me as if I told him I was born on Mars.  He moves closer to me. "Whaa...well, when did you need them?" He whispers.

Now, I'm confused.  "Well, you know when we need them, when the baby is colicky." I say, a little surprised, considering we have two bottles of Infacol at home.  The confused look remains on his face.
"What?  I said king size condoms!" He says, laughing.

"Oh." I say before realizing we were clearly talking about two different pound shop items here.  So, in case you don't need the king size condoms when the baby is colicky.  Yeah...

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